Job was quite ok, because I gained more experiences, but people, co-workers around me not really good people. To keep up with them, I had found out closes dealer and enjoyed daily marihuana, weekly and a bit more times cocaine, and time by time on weekends some MDMA, just get out of they reality for a bit. I kept like this until September 2007, when I had enough of co-workers and had finished there. I came back in to Hook and start work as a waiter and bartender there, until of October 2008. All this time I had spent quietly, nothing to rough, just a daily smoked marihuana and occasionally did cocaine.
Now, I Have to mention this, whole time since coming in January 2007 until October 2008 I had that motivated thoughts about saving money and building my own future; it just does not came to me. I’ve set up new email for me in January 2007 when I started looking for a job; on October 2008 it was there something over 1700 applications for jobs, which I’ve sent to. I had occurred on around 150 interviews for jobs, when I was looking for that my one; it just does not came to me. And here I come to explain my end in Hook in October 2008. All the time I was not happy because I could not find a job and place compare to my skills. I can honestly say that I was very good waiter, bartender, I enjoy it and had quite a respect to that job. Unfortunately in the UK they do not know what hospitality and catering mean, and that’s why in restaurants worked nonqualified teenagers, most of them lazy and useless. And then, one October day, customer went on me – not because of my fault – and I just could not keep any more. I had respond it, manager does not like it, we had a word, and I decided to leave.
I had slept over in my friends flat, where from I was looking for other job through internet, once again. At this time I feel a bit noxious and was quite upset on my whole situation. Why I was so unlucky to get decent job, and what now in this time when world credit crunch come up, this were the general thoughts in my brain. As I mention the world credit crunch, with this conversation to come up at my friends flat, one of my friends he told me about documentary movie – Zeitgeist 1 and 2 – and that I should see it. And here I come on 17th of November 2008 I had seen Zeitgeist 1.
Here started second stage of Me, which I could call, awakening Me inside of physical Me which is on true path of finding conscious awareness and purpose of Me.
To explain: After seeing Zeitgeist movie, I could say that my rationality and whole logical thinking got lost. I had started do things spontaneously from feelings which generated in me on principals of my studies after true of Zeitgeist movie 1. It was like I found some questions to answers of my some questions. Briefly about Zeitgeist movie 1 – its contains three stages which does not look like have something in common on first look, but they have everything in common I could say; if you watching whole movie and do not separate it, and can little bit read between lines. A first stage is about, Christianity and they deities and other religions and they deities, what they have in common generally (author takes on How? Who? When? Why?). A second stages is about plane attack on World Trade Center in USA on 11.09.2001 generally (author takes on Who? Why? How? ). A third stage is about money generally (author takes on mostly American bank system Who? When? How? Why?).
As I seen whole movie I had started seriously searching what is true and what is not. The second and third stages were to me of close knowledge, and that makes easier read between lines for me. I’ve concentrated on first stage with such passion that, I’ve spent for 12-15 hours on internet searching, reading, downloading, comparing, step by step, line by line and fact by fact. I started possess incredible knowledge about ancient times of our earth and humans, about past times and present times (historic path, economic path, society path, technical path). I started realize that I know more than is my realization. It was end of December 2008 when I realized that I can speak just about religions, ancient times, about materialistic world as wrong and rotten, but I also realized that this my knowledge is not a lie, and that what I now in such short time is not because of my ‘free’ drugs past. I felt righteously about my feelings because I had the strongest proof – Me – and what makes Me so sure that I have the right feelings, was my hunger for reading. I have never read books, and between November and December 2008 I had read about 3-5 books (+ hours of readings on internet), which were about History of world religions before, at and after Christ, astrology and astronomy, numerology, world economic, world philosophy. I knew it that this is it for me, that through this way I will found what I have to. In the middle of January 2009 I flew home to speak with my mother about my situation and with oldest brother JM. Somehow I felt it that I have to speak with brother JM personally and more closely.
Now is the right time to give a brief summary about my oldest brother Jan Matuska. He had born on March 1977. He was not very clever what about study in school but he was more active physically. As 13 years old he starts do karate, as a 21 or around, he was national master in his weight. In army he joins Special Forces – parachute troops. After army he joins Security Company and ‘part time’ in local mafia. His passion for martial arts grows, what makes him starts do as ‘part-time’ lots of different styles. Alongside to practice he did also study. I was not interesting what his books are about, at that time. He never had money and was mostly on boarder with a law. But what he had and still got, its one of his friends, she is psychic. I met her couple of times in past, and once been at her in 2005. My mother was at her few times and what I know, I just can say that everything goings likes she said to her. But I will get back to her later on.
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